That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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