call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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