Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
