I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize