I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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