They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize