Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
