Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
