She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
