they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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