i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
