I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize