dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Couch. On fire.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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