Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
