Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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