Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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