i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
