What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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