Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
