she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
