Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
