my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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