Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize