They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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