i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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