Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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