How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
