Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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