The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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