i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
They have beer where we have blood.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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