I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
