The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
