I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
