i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
