i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
