How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
