I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
