First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
