did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
