He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
