My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
