my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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