I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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