From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
