I am puke
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
