but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
