he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
