I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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