I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
