I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's the barista slut.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
