made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
