White coat. Heels.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
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OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Who died my cat blue again?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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