We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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