Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
