I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
