k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
