What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
