meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize