i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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