i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
