dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
