Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
