I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
