I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
