It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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