thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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