Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
