Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
