So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
