I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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