If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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