I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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