do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think your dad took our porno
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
