i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
