chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
