the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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