Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
