I hate all girls vehemently.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
