I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
