It's Friday. Sex?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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