you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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