how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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