If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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