i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
